Friday, September 18, 2015

The Truth of the 3 of Swords: What am I pretending not to know?

Sparkstars,

A couple of confessions:

1. I've been reading tarot cards for nearly 5 years, studying and learning. I almost go nowhere WITHOUT my deck yet I've been borderline embarrassed because I grew up in a religion that claimed such practices demonic.

In order to avoid judgment and rejection, I've hidden a wonderful gift. After a recent devastating event in my life, I saw clearly how "withholding truth" is equal to telling a lie.

The truth is I enjoy divination, tarot, and connecting with Source through my cards. I am not ashamed and feel free to unfollow me if you don't agree.  I respect that.

Lesson: Don't hide my gifts to keep friends, if they don't accept all of me they are not a real friend anyway. If I can't be myself fully, how could anyone love and accept ME!

2. I pulled this card last week.  It is a three of swords. My eyes got big because the last time I pulled it, my now ex husband had moved in with another woman only days after our separation. So needless to say the pain associated with this card is frightening.

But I was like, nah I am good. I couldn't imagine what this could be.  Life is peachy. But with research, I learned that this card can also mean you are affecting someone without being aware and causing them the pain.  Ouch! I immediately prayed that if my actions are causing pain to another, please reveal it to me so it can stop. That was Thursday.

Monday morning I got the call from the woman I was indirectly causing pain. I was in relationship with a man for 6 months that was engaged and I didn't know.

Now, needless to say...the cards were on point but the lesson did not stop there. 

3. I had to admit to myself I was playing along with many lies for my own selfish gain. 

"YOU MAY NOT HAVE THE STARRING ROLE IN THE DRAMA BUT YOU ARE THE ONE WRITING  YOUR LINES." 

See, after tour, I was like "what now, what next."  While on tour, I was too busy to get lonely, sad, depressed.  Work was my distraction. But when all the traveling was done, and I needed to sit my butt still to work on my vision... I found another distraction.

I didn't want to be in a REAL relationship because deep down I knew I was not ready so I manifested this long distance relationship with someone I knew was constantly lying to me but I let it go on out of fear of facing my empty home.

I said all this to say... I allowed myself to be lied to because I was not fully trusting my inner light to guide me through.  By doing this to myself I was indirectly participating in the brewing of pain to another.  

Lesson: We are interconnected. When I don't live in my truth, I am directly or indirectly affecting and potentially hurting the life of another. 

Most won't be able to get that because we don't want to admit that our secret actions, our inner dialogue (loud to us but silent to others), our little white tales, and withholding truths affect others.  I'm not hurting no one, we would say but in reality when you lie to yourself about your worth, don't confront your fears, and ignore your intuition, you are, I am, inadvertently causing pain to myself AND others. Period.

It might not ever reveal itself like it did with this card but believe it is happening.  How could it not? We are interconnected. I am because you are. RIGHT? 

So...Sparkstars, with compassion for myself and with gratitude for the lessons learned in this human skin, I forgive myself for hiding some of my talents because my (our) talents are to be a blessing to others by sharing. 

I forgive myself for accepting lies in exchange of the illusion of companionship and by doing this inadvertently participating in the heart break of another. Sending her so much love right now.

I commit to being up and outstanding in word, deed and action in order to be an example of what love and light looks like.

Sparkstars ask yourself with me daily...

1. What am I pretending not to know?
2. What areas am I hiding my light from fear of judgment or shame?
3. Who am I affecting directly or indirectly when I shine or when I decide to hide?
4. How can I be the best version of me today?
5. Where can I best serve?  #purpose

Ok... being sparktacular isn't always pretty and glittery work.  Sometimes, to shine, we need to, on hands and knees, scrub and wash away the grime.  But we got this, together... we got this. 

I love you and send ((hugs)) all around. Be the change. 

XXL,

MJ





Learn more about Minista Jazz and the Sparkstar movement by visiting www.ministajazz.com

To book Minista Jazz to speak at your event contact her through the website or call 706-705 2477 for more details.

GLOWING THROUGH THE DARK TOUR begins OCTOBER 17, 2015 in Victoria, BC.