"F" The Opinion of Others... 4 Steps to Take Back Your Life

Ever have someone give you an opinion that you did not ask for?

For the longest while, I could not understand for the life of me, why some people have the NEED to give their opinion about how you should eat, exercise, work, dress, spend money, travel, marry... and you DID NOT ASK!

“Be independent of the good opinion of other people.” ~ Abraham Harold Maslow.

The funniest to me is people walk up to pregnant women and after reaching in for the uninvited belly rub they begin to give the list of "do's" and "don'ts" to motherhood.  "Um, excuse me, do you even have any kids?"

And what most people do not consider is the affect that their opinions might have on the person they are served up to. 

For instance, a young and vulnerable mind, still trying to create their own self identity.

OK, let be clear.  Opinions in and of themselves are perfect fine.  It is when these opinions are given without permission, as if they are the only truth that exists, and with the slight suggestion "You are dumb if you don't listen to me because, isn't it clear that I know everything."

It can be overwhelming to be forced fed the opinion of others. Especially when they are  friends, boss, parents, or SOCIAL MEDIA. So when you begin to feel that "OMG" feeling come over you from the infiltration of some one's good opinion... here are 4 ways to say, "F" that!



1. Find your Stillness and Breathe.

Of course, always start with the breath. Breathing is the key to life.  When someone gives their opinion it can feel constricting.  And there are no accidents that it does.  What you are experiencing is an invisible tight hold around what once was infinite possibility.

With every moment, life presents infinite possibility for outcome.  What opinions can sometimes do is create limits around what is possible based on the experience of others.  This can be quite traumatic if you are someone that believes in miracles.

So "F" that.  Find your stillness and breath.  The breath is the physical manifestation of abundance.  It can not be seen but felt and is always available to you in each living moment.  When you come back to the breath, you are instantly reminded of the truth of the universe which is expansive, infinite, and full of possibility.

Spend 5 to 10 minutes just breathing.

2.  Focus on your passion and mission

It is so easy to be distracted by the opinion of others.  Especially when what they are offering sounds logical and smart.  Most of the time, when we are up to great things in the world, it surpasses the understanding of other and even ourselves.  So if someone gives you an opinion that is neatly packaged in logic, it is easy to be distracted from your vision, dream, passion, and mission.  Naturally you want to do what makes sense but sometimes, your calling won't make sense to others and you have to courageously risk to see it manifest.

So "F' that.  Focus on your passion and mission.  When you get super duper clear on what ultimate calling is, the unsolicited opinion of others on what to do with your life will be easily dismissed.  You will not be distracted from your path based on their belief.

To get super clear, take the moment to write down your mission, your purpose, your passion.  You can even record yourself saying it.  And when someone says something that doesn't quite encourage your ultimate path, you press PLAY and remind yourself what you are up to.  Leave them to their path and you stay in your lane as well.

Remember the good opinion of others are not necessary for us to do a good work in the world.

3. Forgive those that try to control you. 

I realized that most of the time, people give their opinion because the honestly believe they know what is best.  They want to see the world around them unfold how they think it should.  They feel that if they tell everyone what to do, then they can ensure their own safety and create the world according to their own liking.  It sounds good in theory but NO, we are not in control of the actions of others. No one is in control of you.

So "F" that.  Forgive them.  Be compassionate to the soul that is afraid of life. They are afraid that if they do not control every aspect of life, including you, things will go really wrong.  Do not be inundated by the fear of others.  Understand that they mean well and are only doing their best to protect what they consider might be their peace.  This has nothing to do with you, so don't take it on. Forgive them for trying to control you.  Send them love and encouraging light energy instead.

Mantra: Happiness and peace is mine. I forgive those who attempt to control me.

If you are experiencing anxiety due to the opinion of others it is probably because if you are highly sensitive you are picking up on their fear.  Declare you happiness and send them love.  Stand courageously and be a mirror for them to know that anything is possible.  Show them with your confidence and trust that everything in life is unfolding in perfect order. 

4.  Fill your mind with gratitude. 


When you are given the opinion of another, without asking, immediately go to gratitude.  Be thankful for the gift while saying no thank you to the intention.  An offering is an offering.  Even if it feel like it is being pushed down your throat... it is not.  It is a gift that you can be grateful is coming your way and also have the authority to refuse.

So "F" that.  In the moment, that you are full of gratitude for who you are, what you have, where you are going, what you've become, you have no room for the "good" opinion of others to hold space in your mind.  You can consciously accept that in which you need and leave everything else at the door.

Think of all of the things that you are grateful for and you have not time or space to feel bad about gift that you don't need. Trust me someone else might be able to use it, just not you, just not today.  Thank you, but no thanks and know that it is OK. 

And then again, come back to the breath.  The amazing, abundant, and awesome breath will support you in all that you want to do.

So even in this moment, know that this is JUST my opinion on how you may deal with the GOOD OPINION of others and if it doesn't not work for you...

1. Find your stillness and breathe
2. Focus on your passion purpose mission
3. Forgive those that try to control you
4. Full your mind with gratitude

"F" that!  

Love and Light,

Minista Jazz

PS.  You got this!

Watch this video for a dose of COURAGE to be able to say... "F" that and live your life the way you choose.  As long as you ain't hurting nobody be free to be you, boo!  I love you!

"Courageous" HipNoticHop by Minista Jazz

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Tune in for The Spark Spot Every Saturday at 7pm EST www.ministajazz.com

Jump to Health, Not Conclusions: Bernadette Robinson

Amazing Human Thangs!

When was the last time you got that, "OMG" feeling?  You know, that moment you see some awesome human being, doing their "human thang" so masterfully, your eyes pop out in a state of WOW!

Well, that freakin' happened to me a few weeks ago when I was introduced to Bernadette Robinson's instagram page.

Yo, this award winning & former competitive jump roper, gotz moves and legs that make you want to stare... HARD!

I'm Healthy! #HipNoticHop

But Bernadette doesn't want you to just look, she wants you to JUMP!  She is all about fun and the innovation of a her favorite pastime, jump rope.

When she was 10 years old, Bernadette spent her school recesses jumping rope with friends. And now, well into her 10,000 hours at gravity defying, my girl has mastered the craft, winning Silver and Bronze medal in highly respected competition.

Bernadette Robinson is a coach, mentor, community leader, and personal trainer. Her skill, will, and determination hooked the attention of many publications and landed her a featured segment on Dr. Oz.  Also, Bernadette showed up  and out during ESPN's Sports Day at the Tribecca Film Fest in 2014.

Though she strives to keep it fun during intense physical activity, as a case manager working with people with HIV/AIDS and mental disabilities, she knows how listen during intense emotional times as well. 

Her skills are infinite, as she has dedicated her life to be an inspiration. 
**SPARKSTAR ALERT**

Punk Rope 

Her positive mindset is incredibly awesometagious!  When you are around her, you desire to be better, healthier, funnier, and positive. 

Bernadette's unequivocal style of group exercise classes, workshops, and seminars make jumping rope more than a exercise, it becomes a entertaining revolution.

I stalk greatness regularly, so I am totally inspired by Bernadette.  Now, it's my goal to attend one of her workshops in NJ or NYC and have her star in my new HipnoticHop music video for the affirmation track 'Healthy'.  

Such a Sparkstar in every way, I am honored to present to you... Bernadette Robinson.

From her heart to yours...

What is your name, where are you from, what is your profession?

My name is Bernadette Robinson. I am NYC born and raised (da Bronx). I currently live in Newark NJ. 

Who are you really? Describe yourself without using your name, or any attributes given to you by society and really think. Deep down, who are you? 

I'm just me. What you see is what you get. I am made up of all the experiences that i've been through intentionally and unintentionally. I am who I molded myself to be. 

If you lost everything, whose arms would you run into to make everything ok?

My Dad. But I just lost him a few weeks ago.

If you could send a message to the entire world, what would you say in less than 140 characters.

Stay true to yourself no matter what. Never be someone else's idea of who/what you should be. That will take you far.

If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Of course, giving my children the world and motivating others through word and deed. (basically what she is doing now... ahmazing)

If your entire life was a movie, what title would best fit? 

She Don't Give a *Bleep* 

What are the chances you’ve passed up on that you regret? How do you apply the learning from this regret to your actions today?

One of them was ending a good relationship for absolutely no reason at all in 1997. I apply it by thinking some things through before aburtly ending good situations and that can apply to anything. Weighing pros and cons. 

What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

I would have stayed home with my parents for a long time at least until I was good. Even if it was till 40 (ha ha)

If you could ask a single person one question, and they had to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask? 

Sparkstar

My friend.  Why he can't get his life together at his older age; settle down? What does having multiple women do in your older age? What are his insecurities?

When you’re 90 years old, what will matter most to you in the world? 

The amount of people that I've motivated and the legacy I've created through jump rope, inspiration and letting people know, "it's OK to be you". 

How do you celebrate the things you do have in your life?

I need to do a better job at doing so.... 

What were you doing when you last lost track of the time? 

Being a fool as a youngin'. I could have done so much more with myself. 

Make it Happen, Make if FUN NYC!

If you had to teach someone one thing, what would you teach? 

Love yourself enough to trust trust yourself and be confident in your decisions, even when you think they are absurd to others.

What makes you smile?

My children, Jump rope, my goals and good people that are not always serious. The simple things in life. 

What drives you to do better at something?

Thinking about the bigger picture.

What can you do today that you couldn’t do a year ago? What will you be able to do at this time next year?

Confidence in myself and ability.  Also learning how to say "no" and mean it, without feeling bad. 

What is the last thing that you’ve done that’s really worth remembering?

Being on the Dr. Oz show. 

What gets you excited and driven to achieve? 

My goals excite me. The opportunities excite me.  I'm driven by myself. I'm driven by the "No's.  

When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? 

It's been a while. ATLANTA in 2011.

What do you want most out of life?

To achieve things my way and leave a legacy for my children and thousands around the globe. 

If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you?

A Queen, A Teacher, A Social Worker... she did that!

I think it would help. I'm a good person.  

What do you “owe” yourself? 

A spa day. I have never ever in my 36 years of life. 

How do you spend the majority of your free time? Why? 

Free time? I spend my time at the gym or going to a fitness class in the gym, park, or elsewhere. 

What did you want to be when you were a kid? 

A queen, a teacher, a social worker. 

What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? 

A lot of self promotion, collaborating with others and continually working on my craft. 

How about today? 

Tight Like Rope!

I made some important phone calls and put a team together. 

"TIGHT LIKE ROPE!"

Those SOX tho... Ambassador for @thesoxbox

TUNE IN for The Spark Spot LIVE Every Saturday at 7pm EST/6pm CST exclusively on YOUR 15 Minutes Radio Network

This week's special guest will be BERNADETTE ROBINSON JUMP ROPE QUEEN!

www.ministajazz.com

Someone's Angel for a Moment: Singer/Songwriter iRussi

Crazy, sexy, cool, but she would frown her full lips at me for saying it.  Julia is a heart of sweet and a talent to notice.  

I met her on Miley Cyrus Bangerz tour.  She has been singing with Miley since the days of Disney.  And even thought she one the supporting vocalist but her voice and personality is strong and undeniable no matter who she stands behind. 

Her spirit, passion, and beauty captivated me and even when she was not feeling her best physically she would find the strength to sing magically.  

Julia comes from a powerful family unit and it is my belief that from their prayers this angel is able to share her light. 

As she embarks on her solo career, I send her so much love and spark on her journey!  Keep shining and GLOW ON Sparkstar.  I love you!

From her heart to yours... here is Julia Sannan otherwise know as iRussi.

What is your name, where are you from, what is your profession?

My name is Julia but professionally I go by iRussi, ( eye-roo-see) which is the Italian version of my last name. I am from Indiana PA but currently reside in the beautiful and friendly south, TN. My profession is all things in musical art and my voice is my instrument. From backup singing for other artists live and on record to recently starting the journey into my own solo career. 

Who are you really? Describe yourself without using your name, or any attributes given to you by society and really think. Deep down, who are you? 

I am a wanderer and a wonderer with a whole bunch of dreams. 

If you could send a message to the entire world, what would you say in less than 140 characters. 

I heard once “We accept the love we think we deserve”. Believe in YOU. You deserve far more happiness and forgiveness that you think. and If you haven't heard it yet today.. I love you.. whoever you are. 

If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Thats the dream isn't it ? :) In all honesty I would be doing the same as I am now just without the stress of living paycheck to paycheck. I live for traveling... I love performing and creating with words and painting the world with my melodies. 

If today was the last day of your life, what would you want to do?

Depending on where I am I would either want to be with my family or with the ones I love. Open arms and a glass of wine…. Then at 11:30 pm I would want to be dropped off in the middle of the ocean and be left alone with the earth, my God and the night sky..then BAM, midnight will strike. 

If your entire life was a movie, what title would best fit?

“A Thousand Lives” 

How would you describe yourself in 5 words? 

Curious. Passionate. Gemini. Creative. Peculiar. 

What are the chances you’ve passed up on that you regret?

When I was younger, I knew a man who was unable to walk or speak.  He had such a kind spirit all of the time but one day there seemed to be a dark cloud over him.  I had a feeling that I should go talk to him just to be a light in his life that day, a chance to be someone's angel for a moment or so…but I didn't listen to my inner voice and I have always regretted it. 

How do you apply the learning from this regret to your actions today?

I try to listen to my heart more. I feel like people really take away the importance of how strong and true our feelings can be and how they can guide us in the right directions. Our built in stars. Logic plays a huge part in the balance and I really strive to follow both daily, not just one.

What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? 

I would stop caring so much about what others think. I am a Gemini so some days I rage on the “ I don’t give a shit” side and then other days I don’t want to leave the house in fear that someone is going to judge my size, what I say, what I am wearing etc. I would dance in the rain more often and say what I really feel daily, instead of weekly ;) 

What were you doing when you last lost track of the time?

In all honesty I never know the time. I'm a natural born space cadet and get lost several times a day in the many rooms of my mind palace. More specifically thought, I went on a run in Los Feliz CA the other day and the roads were winding and I lost myself somewhere. 

If you had to teach someone one thing, what would you teach?

I would teach them how to see the colors I see in the world. I don’t know how but I would try. 

What makes you smile?

Puppies and good company. 

What drives you to do better at something?

When someone is doing it better than me! ha!  I wouldn't say I’m a competitive person, only when it comes to something that I’m passionate about. Like singing or performing, all things creative really. But I could care less if someone is better than me at darts… 

What can you do today that you couldn’t do a year ago? What will you be able to do at this time next year?

I used to be really bad at putting my mind aside. I am able to move past negative thoughts a lot more than I used to and enjoy a moment or just work harder without distractions. I hope that a year from now, that will continue to get stronger and become a my main strength, to conquer the negative, and speak positive in my life until all of the positives become truth. 

What is the last thing that you’ve done that’s really worth remembering?

 Waking up :)

When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

Last year I went to Italy for the first time. Its always been my dream to go. Even though I only had 8 hours to roam around it was worth it. I have been traveling my entire life so going somewhere I’ve never been before can be rare but it happened ! and I loved every hour of it ; ) 

What do you want most out of life?

I want to find contentment. The kind where I can still chase after all of my dreams but be happy with any outcome. I tend to “look forward” to things and forget to live where I am currently at. I have a tattoo that reminds me to live in the moment everyday but thats what I want. To do what I love and be happy with whatever form it comes in. 

If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you?

I think that it would do both really. I am a good person and strive to always do whats right but I am human. We all are. I do stupid things and make bad decisions and hurt the ones I love sometimes out of selfishness. But for the most part I believe that karma would be on my side and help me out.

If you could go back in time and see one single thing – what would it be?

I would love to see the first moment my parents said my name and the words “I love you” to me. 

If you could ask for one wish, what would it be?

I would wish for the possibility of living life with all of the good and none of the bad. 

What do you “owe” yourself? 

Some apologies I’m sure. Grace and forgiveness… 

When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

Trees and the sky. I say trees because the home I grew up in was in the woods and I found so much freedom surrounded by them. I say the sky because my home is anywhere I feel loved. Ive moved a lot since the house on the hill surrounded by trees, that is the last stable picture I have of home and the rest is in the air. 

How do you spend the majority of your free time? Why?

I spend it either enjoying my thoughts alone or connecting people and enjoying community. Its a 50/50 split. 

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Everything that I am now….

HEAR iRUSSI NOW 

What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I’ve been putting myself out there more often. The other day I got up on stage and joined a jam session in nashville, I never do that but I ended up singing for 3 hours. :) Today ? I did yoga and continued to speak positivity into my dreams and my goals, I feel like that it just as effective as   

having a meeting with an important person... (I am an important person).

What terrifies you the most?

Being honest about what terrifies me. 

What are you looking forward to?

Going to sleep when I’m the most tired I have ever been. There is nothing like pure exhaustion and finally laying down. How about that for a shallow answer. I felt the need to pull my head out of the clouds. #gemini 

What have you done that you’re most proud to have achieved? 

I have made it through my life without punching someone in the face. Also, I started running after my dreams when I was eight years old and I haven’t stopped. I have seen so much of the world, met thousands of people, performed in front of millions and experienced so much of the culture and spirituality of the world… I feel like that is already enough for me. I’m sure if I decide to have a human someday then that will conquer all of those things but thats where my heart says now. 

What is your greatest strength?

Being able to look at all sides of a situation. Wether its figuring out something pretty logical or wearing all the shoes and hats in a fight or dilemma. 

What did your life teach you yesterday?

I think life TRIED to teach me to stop worrying so much. 

What have you done today to make someone’s life better?

Today? I didn't turn the volume all the way up while listening to my music on the plane. :) I think the person next to me would thank me if they knew. 

What makes you special?

What makes everyone special is the beautiful fact that there is only one. One of me. One of you. I am me and that makes me special.

When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

Today there was a man behind me in line yelling at his wife… He was speaking AT her like a five year old.. granted, she wasn't being very nice back either but I wanted to turn around a say something… Im sure really sure what I would have said but I wanted to be encouraging or even just remind them that they are still together… still married.. still breathing and that is a gift. Who knows if they would have even cared but I feel like I should have said at least something. 

Do you consider yourself the hero or the villain in your story?

Both. 

When did you last push the boundaries of your comfort zone?

About 10 questions ago ;)  Im not the most open person in the world and answering these questions has definitely made me step out of dungeon heart land. 

What have you given up on?

Mind reading…and eating wheat. :) 

Finish this sentence: I am a sparkstar beacause  I believe in myself. 

Three things that I learned in my professional field that have changed my life are : 

1. Nobody counts, measures and remembers my mistakes like I do and that eases my mind. 
2. Don’t let anybody tell you who are. 
3. Enjoy EVERY win.. even the tiny ones like someone spelling your name right on your cup at Starbucks. Every happy moment counts. 

My wish for the world is  Freedom from the media’s lies about beauty, success and love.