Wednesday, June 24, 2015

"F" The Opinion of Others... 4 Steps to Take Back Your Life

Ever have someone give you an opinion that you did not ask for?

For the longest while, I could not understand for the life of me, why some people have the NEED to give their opinion about how you should eat, exercise, work, dress, spend money, travel, marry... and you DID NOT ASK!

“Be independent of the good opinion of other people.” ~ Abraham Harold Maslow.

The funniest to me is people walk up to pregnant women and after reaching in for the uninvited belly rub they begin to give the list of "do's" and "don'ts" to motherhood.  "Um, excuse me, do you even have any kids?"

And what most people do not consider is the affect that their opinions might have on the person they are served up to. 

For instance, a young and vulnerable mind, still trying to create their own self identity.

OK, let be clear.  Opinions in and of themselves are perfect fine.  It is when these opinions are given without permission, as if they are the only truth that exists, and with the slight suggestion "You are dumb if you don't listen to me because, isn't it clear that I know everything."

It can be overwhelming to be forced fed the opinion of others. Especially when they are  friends, boss, parents, or SOCIAL MEDIA. So when you begin to feel that "OMG" feeling come over you from the infiltration of some one's good opinion... here are 4 ways to say, "F" that!

1. Find your Stillness and Breathe.

Of course, always start with the breath. Breathing is the key to life.  When someone gives their opinion it can feel constricting.  And there are no accidents that it does.  What you are experiencing is an invisible tight hold around what once was infinite possibility.

With every moment, life presents infinite possibility for outcome.  What opinions can sometimes do is create limits around what is possible based on the experience of others.  This can be quite traumatic if you are someone that believes in miracles.

So "F" that.  Find your stillness and breath.  The breath is the physical manifestation of abundance.  It can not be seen but felt and is always available to you in each living moment.  When you come back to the breath, you are instantly reminded of the truth of the universe which is expansive, infinite, and full of possibility.

Spend 5 to 10 minutes just breathing.

2.  Focus on your passion and mission

It is so easy to be distracted by the opinion of others.  Especially when what they are offering sounds logical and smart.  Most of the time, when we are up to great things in the world, it surpasses the understanding of other and even ourselves.  So if someone gives you an opinion that is neatly packaged in logic, it is easy to be distracted from your vision, dream, passion, and mission.  Naturally you want to do what makes sense but sometimes, your calling won't make sense to others and you have to courageously risk to see it manifest.

So "F' that.  Focus on your passion and mission.  When you get super duper clear on what ultimate calling is, the unsolicited opinion of others on what to do with your life will be easily dismissed.  You will not be distracted from your path based on their belief.

To get super clear, take the moment to write down your mission, your purpose, your passion.  You can even record yourself saying it.  And when someone says something that doesn't quite encourage your ultimate path, you press PLAY and remind yourself what you are up to.  Leave them to their path and you stay in your lane as well.

Remember the good opinion of others are not necessary for us to do a good work in the world.

3. Forgive those that try to control you. 

I realized that most of the time, people give their opinion because the honestly believe they know what is best.  They want to see the world around them unfold how they think it should.  They feel that if they tell everyone what to do, then they can ensure their own safety and create the world according to their own liking.  It sounds good in theory but NO, we are not in control of the actions of others. No one is in control of you.

So "F" that.  Forgive them.  Be compassionate to the soul that is afraid of life. They are afraid that if they do not control every aspect of life, including you, things will go really wrong.  Do not be inundated by the fear of others.  Understand that they mean well and are only doing their best to protect what they consider might be their peace.  This has nothing to do with you, so don't take it on. Forgive them for trying to control you.  Send them love and encouraging light energy instead.

Mantra: Happiness and peace is mine. I forgive those who attempt to control me.

If you are experiencing anxiety due to the opinion of others it is probably because if you are highly sensitive you are picking up on their fear.  Declare you happiness and send them love.  Stand courageously and be a mirror for them to know that anything is possible.  Show them with your confidence and trust that everything in life is unfolding in perfect order. 

4.  Fill your mind with gratitude. 

When you are given the opinion of another, without asking, immediately go to gratitude.  Be thankful for the gift while saying no thank you to the intention.  An offering is an offering.  Even if it feel like it is being pushed down your throat... it is not.  It is a gift that you can be grateful is coming your way and also have the authority to refuse.

So "F" that.  In the moment, that you are full of gratitude for who you are, what you have, where you are going, what you've become, you have no room for the "good" opinion of others to hold space in your mind.  You can consciously accept that in which you need and leave everything else at the door.

Think of all of the things that you are grateful for and you have not time or space to feel bad about gift that you don't need. Trust me someone else might be able to use it, just not you, just not today.  Thank you, but no thanks and know that it is OK. 

And then again, come back to the breath.  The amazing, abundant, and awesome breath will support you in all that you want to do.

So even in this moment, know that this is JUST my opinion on how you may deal with the GOOD OPINION of others and if it doesn't not work for you...

1. Find your stillness and breathe
2. Focus on your passion purpose mission
3. Forgive those that try to control you
4. Full your mind with gratitude

"F" that!  

Love and Light,

Minista Jazz

PS.  You got this!

Watch this video for a dose of COURAGE to be able to say... "F" that and live your life the way you choose.  As long as you ain't hurting nobody be free to be you, boo!  I love you!

"Courageous" HipNoticHop by Minista Jazz

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