Saturday, March 14, 2015

Get out of that Abusive Relationship: You & You

A lady goes to work at a large department store and she's friends with somebody in a another department who she doesn't know very well, but is drawn to her. You know how you can just meet somebody and like them immediately.
But over a short period of time this one lady begins to notice that the other lady is getting more and more solemn and depressed. And finally, even though they have never really spoken, she walks over and says:
"Hi. I'm Ruth and we smile at each other from time to time. I hope I'm not prying into your life, but I could tell that something is wrong. Would you mind sharing it with me? Maybe it would be better if we talked about it."
"Yeah, I'll tell you what the deal is. I'm stuck in an abusive relationship."
"Oh," Ruth says, "listen to me. Don't you put up with it for one second. Don't you stay in any abusive relationship. No matter what, don't you stick with it."
"No, I don't think you understand," says the other lady...
"You see, I live all by myself. And there's nobody else in my life but me."

This story is from one of my spiritual teachers, Guy Finley.
I learned from this story that one of the most abusive relationships that I was ever in was the one with me and me.  I could blame those that beat me, talked down to me, that didn't believe in my dreams… but when I get honest with myself, I let those situation continue past their date of expiration because of my own self worth conversation.

For a really long time, I wanted to get out on center stage.  I wanted to sing, act, perform.  I dreamed of holding a microphone and sharing the inspiration that I felt inside with a large audience.  But whenever I dream came up in my conscious mind, my subconscious mind would kick right in. 

YOU ARE A PHONY (you are always depressed how you going to tell people how to be happy)
YOU ARE UGLY (big lip, big eye self)
YOU ARE TOO FAT, TOO BLACK, TOO FEMALE… you are not good enough

WHOA… exhausting is was to "fight" the thoughts so I wouldn't.  I would just stop dreaming and continue being mediocre. 

It wasn't until I felt as though I was dying from disbelief.  It was a slow and painful death but it was happening.  My youthful spirit was quiet and weak.  It was shrinking in size because I stopped feeding it with dreams.  "I" (everything that made me unique and amazing) was almost gone.

One day, when I was listening to my audiobooks, this talk by Guy Finely came on.  When I heard this story it resonated with me so much.
I knew that I could no longer blame the voices of the past, on the outside of me, for my non achievement and lack of personal fulfilling success, it was ME that was holding ME back.  I began to put the voices on mute.  

I allowed my dreams to grow and even wrote them down.  I would jot them down on index cards and read them out loud whenever I came across one in a random place either in my house of even my gym bag. 

I feed my youthful spirit with action steps toward my dreams and it was happy.  Soon the voices of self abuse were so quiet, it was nothing to say back to them… hey, you are old and I am on to new things. I am living my dream whether you like it or not.  (She even agrees with me now).

The inner conflict is over.  I practice daily to be aligned with my own dreams and intentions by retraining my inner self to see thing my way, the new way, the GOD way. 

SPARKSTAR at the end of the day, its you and you... Whatever you need to change be it your mind, habits, body, or focus... Do it for you! 

Sending you love on your most courageous journey, self love.

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